Understanding separation anxiety syndrome in children

The article is expertly advised by MSc. Dr. Nguyen Minh Tuan - Pediatrician at the Department of Pediatrics - Neonatology - Vinmec Danang International General Hospital

Separation anxiety (SA) is a symptom experienced by young children when they do not want to be separated from their closest caregiver, usually a parent. Separation anxiety is a sign that children are developing independence and a sense of security. Usually, all babies experience this symptom, but it manifests itself in varying degrees.
Separation anxiety is a sign that your baby is beginning to understand that there are differences between objects, including people in the room. Babies still don't understand time, so they will worry about whether their parents will come back or not, and the mental bond between mother and baby is very strong.
The first time your baby feels separation anxiety is when he's about 8 months old. This will peak at 13 - 15 months and last about 2 - 5 months. Separation anxiety usually ends by the time a child is 2 years old - by which time he understands that his parents are only absent for a bit and then return.
In children, separation anxiety syndrome is normal. However, this syndrome will be unusual if the baby grows up, knows how to walk, but still worries when being separated from parents and relatives. Severe signs of this condition can last for up to 1 month. If left untreated, it can have negative effects on your baby later in life, such as turning into separation anxiety disorder.
Separation anxiety syndrome in children if persisted for more than 2 years can turn into separation anxiety disorder (SAD). This condition is characterized by developmental mismatches, excessive anxiety about being separated from loved ones or familiar surroundings. Even children are afraid of going to school, being alone or not being able to sleep without familiar objects. Sudden separation from loved ones can lead to disturbances in consciousness, memory, or awareness of the environment.

Anxiety, restlessness when being separated from people who usually take care of them; Worried that the carer won't come back or something happens, dare not go anywhere with anyone, including the teacher; Do not dare to go to sleep without a caregiver by your side; Clinging to parents when away from familiar surroundings or when meeting strangers; When sleeping, often dream of nightmares, or complain of pain in the body; When you go to the doctor, you absolutely must have your mother with you; Difficulty making friends, or doing actions such as urinating many times, closing and opening the door, etc. because of excessive anxiety.

Separation anxiety often occurs at different stages of a child's development. In each stage, there will be a different way to handle:
3.1 8 month old baby When the baby is 8 months old, the child begins to have feelings of separation anxiety. This situation can last from a few weeks to a few months until the baby understands that the mother and father are not separated from the baby for too long.
To help the baby overcome, it is best for parents to start sending the baby to the babysitter from the age of 6 months to help the baby gradually get used to strangers and the absence of parents. At the same time, every time you send your baby, smile and say goodbye happily so that your baby is less stressed when being with strangers.
3.2 Children 1 - 2 years of age Separation anxiety can increase during the 1 - 2 year period. Around the age of 2, the baby already has a close relationship with his parents and will have reactions such as crying, cooing, etc. to let his parents stay.
If you want to help your child overcome, parents can give the child a certain task such as painting, closing the door, ... to distract the child. At the same time, parents should also let their children know when they will return so that they are no longer too worried.
3.3 Preschoolers With children who have just entered preschool, the change of environment will make them feel anxious because of separation. This usually lasts for several weeks until the child understands that his parents will come to pick him up from school.
To help children overcome, parents should convince children to understand that children can cope with their anxiety. Besides, parents should spend more time with their children so that they understand that they are still cared for by their parents and still feel safe. At the same time, it is recommended to set up a schedule for the child so that he or she gets used to the repetitive activities and especially to keep calm, not to get angry with the child when he is irritable or angry, but should comfort and comfort each child. Specific case.

Manifestation of this condition is that the baby will wake up many times during the night and cry until he sees his mother and father. As a result, both the baby and the parents lose sleep. To handle, parents can refer to the following suggestions:
Talk to the baby: When putting the baby to sleep, you should not leave immediately, but should linger to talk and sing to your baby. Then, leave the room for a few seconds and come back. Gradually, extend the time you leave the room until your baby gets used to being without you while sleeping; Practice some habits before bedtime: To help your baby sleep well, no longer worry about being apart, before going to bed, the mother can massage and sing lullabies to the baby; Comfort your baby when he wakes up without seeing his parents; Do not sneak out of the room because the baby will feel unsafe, not trusting parents anymore. So instead of suddenly disappearing, say good night and leave the room; When the baby cries, go back to the room, watch the baby for a short period of time; Stay calm when your baby cries so that he or she feels everything is fine and will be less stressed; Play peek-a-boo with your baby to help him understand that even if his parents are away, he will still come back.

Create a habit of saying goodbye to help children trust that their parents will come back and that they will easily overcome separation anxiety; Practice for children to get used to the feeling of separation by sending them to grandparents and babysitters for a short time and then gradually increasing the time the parents are not present; Give your baby some time to get used to the babysitter or new environment. When the child goes to school, he can bring a few familiar toys for him to reduce the feeling of unfamiliarity and precaution; Do not comfort your baby when she cries because she is worried about separation. Coaxing only increases anxiety. So let your baby cry and show emotions. The baby will stop crying when the parent does not intervene; Choose an appropriate time to leave, such as when the child is happy or healthy, because separation is more difficult when the child is hungry or tired. When leaving, you can ask a loved one to distract the child by giving him a toy or food he likes; Play with your child when he gets home from work to help him understand that separation can make him uncomfortable but seeing him again makes him happy; Keep your promise to your baby. Parents need a lot of patience and calm to help their child overcome separation anxiety. In addition, if your child is sad or aloof, parents need to find out why, because sometimes the child is bullied or treated badly by the babysitter.