The frequency of sexual intercourse between husband and wife decreases during the wife's pregnancy. After giving birth, you devote all your love to your baby, and feel that the time you and your husband spend together is very little. If you feel less sexual desire after giving birth, remember that this happens to many people; you are not alone in feeling this way. Sexual desire in both women and men is at its lowest during the first six to nine months after giving birth.
1. How long after giving birth can you have sex?
While you don't need to wait to have sex again after giving birth, many experts recommend waiting, and you can start having sex again 4-6 weeks after giving birth, whether you had a vaginal birth or a cesarean section.
Why is it necessary to wait? Because the first two weeks after childbirth are the period with the highest risk of postpartum complications. At the same time, a woman’s body needs time to heal. Besides postpartum discharge and vaginal tears, women may experience fatigue, vaginal dryness, pain, and decreased libido. If you've experienced vaginal tearing that required surgery, you'll need to wait until the wound has healed completely.
During pregnancy, the frequency of intimacy between spouses significantly decreases; some couples may not engage in sexual activity during the entire pregnancy. After giving birth, you devote all your love and attention to your little baby, leaving very little time for each other. You may feel less sexual desire, and some women even suffer from postpartum frigidity.
You should not worry too much, because not only you but also many other people also encounter this problem. It’s completely normal for both women and men to experience the lowest levels of sexual desire during the first six to nine months after childbirth. There are also many ways to rekindle the sexual desire between you and your partner.
2. What is the best way to regain sex drive after having a baby?
Intimacy between husband and wife needs to be a priority, you need to put sex on the to-do list. You and your partner need to schedule specific times to have sex together. Make sure that nothing else interferes with this time. Computers and televisions should be turned off, cell phones should be put away.
In the eyes of many husbands, their wives are really sexy. But their wives don't think so, they feel unsexy, unattractive, and insecure about their appearance. This is one of the biggest disconnects in the couple's sex life.
Women need to take action to regain confidence in their relationship. You can choose a new set of lingerie, buy some new clothes and exercise,... Ask yourself what will make you sexier? Like a spa day, a manicure or going to the gym,... When you have the answer, you will know what you need to do, do it right away, don't wait.
Fathers can also help their wives regain sexual desire by doing small things. There are many mothers who are busy taking care of children and doing housework. If a woman has to do so many things, she will feel tired, exhausted and distracted.
In this case, the husband needs to participate, help his wife with housework, wash her clothes, ... to free up time in the evening for the couple to be intimate with each other.
First-time mothers often say that they feel too tired for intimacy, and when they have free time, they just want to sleep. But they do not know that after sex they will feel young again and wonder why they do not have sex more often.
When women breastfeed, they experience a deep emotional connection with their baby, often describing it as an intense and fulfilling bond.
Women need to understand that if they completely disconnect from their partner because all their physical and emotional attention is focused on the baby, it could eventually lead to an unhappy family. Therefore, even though your little one is taking up so much of your time and energy, don’t forget about the baby’s father.
Advice for couples is to always have intimate actions such as holding hands, hugging, sitting next to each other. And should have sex at least once a week. When you have sex once a week, it means you are maintaining an intimate connection with your partner.
Some specific things that can help you regain your sexual desire after giving birth include:
2.1. Adjust your expectations
Your postpartum hormone levels make you less interested in sex. The first six weeks are the most difficult period hormonally and physically for both women and men.
If this is your first time being a mother, your hormones will be low, your estrogen levels will be like menopause, your vagina will be dry and have less natural lubrication, which will make you feel painful during sex.
Meanwhile, studies have shown that men's testosterone levels decrease when they become fathers, and the more they interact with their children, the more their testosterone levels decrease. So the first thing couples need to do to regain their sexual desire after giving birth is to take it slow. Most women find intercourse painful up to 3 months after giving birth. Once you overcome this boundary, you can have a normal sex life like before giving birth.
2.2. Two-hour break
A great way to combat the decrease in libido after childbirth is to seek help with childcare. Whether you hire a babysitter, ask a family member or friend, or simply ask a neighbor to watch your baby for a few hours, having a break can make a big difference. Exhaustion can significantly lower your sex drive, and with less free time and more responsibilities, it can be difficult to prioritize intimacy. According to human sexuality experts, even a two-hour break can make a significant difference. It’s short enough for the baby to manage without breast milk or formula but long enough to bring substantial mental and emotional relief for both partners.
2.3. Just touching each other
One emotional trap that many couples fall into is transferring their emotional energy to their children instead of expressing affection to their partner. According to experts, much of this has to do with oxytocin, this is a hormone secreted when we kiss, make love and even when women breastfeed. Immediately after giving birth, the mother will receive oxytocin from breastfeeding. And this also affects the wife's sexual desire. To regain sexual desire, couples need to start talking and touching each other. Even in the first 6 weeks, when intercourse is still difficult, you should arrange time to massage each other. Don't be afraid that there won't be sex opportunities, because you can take advantage of your baby's nap. Even if sex is just like a quick snack, it is still very important.
Many people experience a decrease in sexual desire after having a baby, and this doesn't only happen to women; even men can face this issue. It is completely normal, and you can regain your desire by doing simple things, such as touching each other, spending time together, even if it’s just for short moments when your little angel is sleeping.
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Reference sources: babycenter.com, webmd.com, mayoclinic.org
